We Don’t Need Fixing…We Need Loving

We Don't Need Fixing We Need Loving

If you’ve read any of my posts here on the blog, you know that I’m all about finding what works best for you personally when it comes to self care. That goes for the way you eat, move, sleep, and the way you choose to live your life…down to your very core.

I believe that remaining open to ways for self improvement is really rewarding and sometimes you get that “golden nugget” of inspiration from someone else that is the catalyst for transformation you need at that very moment, but ultimately…only you know what is best for your Self and YOU are the only one that can choose to live life the way you desire.

Which brings me to something that has been heavy on my mind lately. This volatile messed up world we live in. The state of the world going mad is enough to make us feel messed up ourselves, and on top of it, we’re living under the constant pressure to be more of all things. We are living in an illusory culture, riddled with outrageous expectations.

Just turn on the TV, watch a movie, read the headlines of the latest tabloids, hop on social media and you’ll see the “picture perfect” version of how you should look, how great your body should be, how many friends you should have, how much fun you should be having, and what your material life should consist of.

Why Aren’t You Where You’re Supposed to Be?

All the things in life we’re “supposed” to do, the relationships we’re “supposed” to have…where we’re “supposed” to be, appear all shiny and sparkly on paper or smartphone, but does that mean that those who choose a different path are living a sad existence? Obviously not, but it’s not hard to see how this version of reality could make people who’s lives don’t look that way feel less significant than those whose do.

Not married with kids, enjoying your dream job, dream home, and fun-filled vacations in your 30’s? Been together for years but still not married? Married for years but don’t have kids? Something must be wrong with you. You. Must. Be. Broken. We all know how many more likes Facebook posts about something cute, funny, or fun get over things that are more serious, inspirational, thought provoking, or even sad.

Cute, funny and fun are all great but it’s easy to become disconnected from reality and live in an alternate reality, a veil of an impossible culture of perfection and happiness. We all are guided by our feelings and sometimes our feelings aren’t all that spectacular, or perfect. And that’s totally normal. We need to come together as a people, get real, and encourage a culture of humanness, imperfection, compassion, and change.

We Don’t Need Fixing…We Need Loving

We Don't Need Fixing We Need Loving

So, it’s true…there is plenty that makes us feel like we’re flawed, not good enough, or we don’t have enough. We’ll never be pretty enough, thin enough, stylish enough, smart enough, funny enough, or cool enough.

One of my favorite moments from the Super Soul Sessions with Kris Carr is where she talks about how “we don’t need fixing, we need loving.” I hope you enjoy some of these takeaways as much as I did, and that they will make a deep impact on the way you choose to live out your life. Next time you’re feeling “broken”, I encourage you to remember and take to heart these inspiring gems she mentioned…

We all want to be better, do better, and feel better in our bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits but when the business of trying to fix ourselves has us measuring up to the version of what we’re “supposed” to be and feeling crazy or broken, or like a failure or screw-up if it’s not the case, it’s time to take a step back.

Next time you’re wishing you were the girl or guy who didn’t have (insert blank), next time you’re wishing you were somebody else, know this: you are not broken. You are actually perfect just as you are…love yourself where you are, in this moment, right now. It’s time for acceptance, that same kind you would love for others to have for you…it’s time to honor yourself with that…unconditional acceptance.

It’s not about giving up or settling, or stifling your ambition. It’s about having your own back, never giving up on yourself, always being there for yourself…owning your self worth. It’s about respecting yourself and your process. As you strive to be better you continue to honor yourself and what your life looks like now…in this very moment.

We can choose to live alongside some pretty crappy circumstances and deal with painful experiences in this life, rather than try to “fix” everything before moving forward. We can make the choice to show up in our less than perfect lives and take care of ourselves, accept ourselves the way we are and make some kick ass memories.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You are already enough, beautiful. We don’t need fixing…we need loving.


  1. This is a truly beautiful post and I completely resonate with this! So many times we are stuck trying to conform to other peoples expectations of what we are supposed to do, wear, eat live etc when really who defined all these things in the first place? Haha. Just come across your website and I am definitely sticking around! Thanks so much for your wonderful content!

    1. Hi Lee-Ann! Thanks for reading and for your beautiful perspective. I love that you resonate with the content here at Essentials of Self Care and hope you will stick around for as long as you like! XOXOXO

  2. Reni

    Love your writing style and your website, Jess. I am always looking for quality content (to share on FB) that will touch the heart of those who can share that love (and healthy living tips) with others.
    We definitely aren’t broken, and like everyone and everything in the world, all we need is love.
    “When love orchestrates the world, peace is its music.” -Reni

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *